The Unfairness of Supply and Demand Parenting

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First of all, I have to admit, today was less than perfect.  My mothering was less than perfect, my patience was not there, my children fought, the chemistry was not there.  There is no reason why the three of us did not have a good day, we just didn’t, so I probably shouldn’t be writing on this subject TODAY, or maybe I SHOULD.  I am the most HONEST on days like today.

Second, I don’t want anyone, especially my husband, to think I am ragging on how he parents.  I am not.  My husband is an amazing Dad.  My kids are so lucky to have him and I feel the same.  We all adore him, everyone adores him; and honestly, that is where MY feelings begin…

My husband, was against me staying home with the kids.  He as worried about finances, retirement, and most of all, how hard the isolation would be on me (that is another post, or two).  But, the accident, our move, life, stuff, his increase in hours, the loss of a car, and all of a sudden, we found ourselves living the one income life and it was working.  Before we knew it, that is the way it became for two years and two years only.  The main reason why it had to work was the fact my husband’s job requires him to work long, strange hours, 5-6 days a week; which means I am home with the kids MANY hours a day and Dad is home very few hours, mostly when the kids are sleeping.

Although, the kids see Dad very little, they seem to think he is the fun parent.  Scott and I are not sure WHY they think this, because all of the statistics point to ME as the fun parent, but HE gets the credit.  We BOTH discipline, make sure they do chores, have fun, and we share parenting, when we are together.  TIME being the main factor: I spent the most amount of time being FUN and MEAN.  Yet, in their minds, DADDY RULES and Mom, well, she’s BOSSY (even though I actually don’t TELL them what to do). 😦

Here’s how SUPPLY and DEMAND parenting works in our house:

Last week, I took the kids to the pool at least 3 times.  I got in the FREEZING water, since it is not actually warm enough for the unheated pool to stay warm.  I played, I also sat out a bit, did I mention it was FREEZING?  I couldn’t do the water slides, since I go by myself and Ana is not old enough to be left alone.  We spent hours at the pool FREEZING last week, for the kids.  On Sunday, after spending hours in Omaha, shopping for SCOTT, we go to the pool for an hour. Scott splashes and plays with the kids. They gather around him, they cheer, they hold onto him. ignoring me.  They say, “Daddy’s the Best. I love Splash Station with Daddy!”

Scott doesn’t really see it, yet he does.  He jokes, he laughs.  I joke, I laugh about it.  Honestly, I know it’s part of the job. I know when I go back to work, nothing will change.  The kids have always been like this.  I try not to let it bother me, but obviously, it does.

Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for these moments with the kids. I am glad my kids don’t wonder if I will be cheering for them at the game. I am glad my kids know they can count on me. I am so glad I am a constant and can give stability, where because of Scott’s job, he can’t give the guarantees like that right now. I love our day trips to the zoo, or hikes around lakes.

But, for crying out loud, I can’t help but be jealous of how easy those little monkeys can be on Scott because he goes to work!  On the other hand, I am super happy and blessed, that my kids adore their dad so much, and I pray when they look back on their childhood, they remember the good times with me too and not just the chore charts.

Happy Father’s Day, Scott, You Rock!

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2 thoughts on “The Unfairness of Supply and Demand Parenting

  1. Hum…funny…works the same way at our house! I am going places all week taking the kids to fun places. Daddy takes them to a movie on the weekend and he is the bomb! I take off to run errands and nobody notices I am gone. Daddy goes on a run and they cheer, run to him and give him hugs and kisses upon his return. Really? Come on! Where is the love for Mommy?! So anyway, totally hear you.
    With that said, we have to be so thankful that we do have amazing husbands/Daddys that work hard so we can have those trips to the zoo and freezing days at the pool (Honestly, I would not have gone back after the first cold day! You are one crazy girl! 🙂 ). I guess, in the end, maybe that is their reward. Our reward…Time well spent with our kids and lots of it. Oh, and we get to see Daddy’s reward for his hard work at the end of the day/week, too. 🙂

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