The idea of “Perfect” has been such a frustrating thought to me since I was small. I am not a perfectionist, but my goodness, since I was young I have tried so hard to be. I guess, one could argue, that makes me one, but I seriously, I am not. Perfectionists are those who will actually give up sleep or stress over having the right job, hair, a clean house, and well-behaved kids. My hair has always kept me out of the running for a perfectionist, and this week, my house and van are not winning any awards either. I tried to be a supermom when McCartney was a baby, but I quickly gave that idea up when I realized that he was his own person and he came into this world with his own opinions and ideas. Once there were two of them, forget it!
I have always wondered, if people are meant to be sinners, or faulty, then why does the word or idea of perfect still exist? Why didn’t we do away with that concept years ago if we can never actually get there? Think about it, there isn’t really the perfect husband. (Now, friends, AND SCOTT, don’t worry ~ I still believe in soul mates and all that…) If my husband was perfect, wouldn’t he ALWAYS do and say the right thing at the right time and wouldn’t I do the same for him? Instead, we have to WORK on our marriage like EVERYONE else, so while we are a great match we are NOT perfect.
Same goes for kids, I LOVE my kids dearly to my core, but ANYONE who saw us this morning, knows that the 3 of us are NOT treating each other perfectly. The children are not behaving perfectly, doing what I ask them to do, so as a mother, I look into myself and I am certain, that I have LOST some routine, something making our relationship not work at the moment.
I could go on about faith, and life, and perfection…but then my mind turns around and I do see perfect moments in our less than perfect life. For example, even though the kids and I our out of sync these days, and it feel horrible, when I told them to take a nap and I left to take mine, they did it! Ana actually fell asleep, which NEVER happens. To me, that is a perfect moment. Or the fact that my kids are SO close, I often feel left out of their little club: What a neat feeling as a parent, when I stop and think about it. Not perfect, but close I suppose.
I know that in order to remove the idea of perfect, then one would have to remove Jesus, and being a Christian, I don’t think that is a good idea. We all need to strive for something, but honestly, I am feeling very tired of striving for something that I just don’t think I can ever achieve. I guess, all I can do, is my best and to keep looking for those small perfect moments each day, or get some more sleep and it might just feel better in day, or two, or week.