This morning, I took a walk, not because it is good for my health goal, but because I wanted to be out of my house. I brought my camera, not because I had a new technique to learn or a client who wanted a photo, but because I wanted to be inspired. I also brought my iPod shuffle so I could quiet the voiced in my head.
I walked at my pace. I didn’t have to walk faster to chase little feet or slower because my husband loves to mosey. I was in charge and I walked at my speed. I didn’t care how many calories I burned or about my heart rate. I got lost in my walk, stopping when I wanted to stop and walking until I decided to be done.
I took photographs. I photographed things that caught my attention. I didn’t care if I was creating art or an image that others would love. No one is paying me to take these photographs either, so they can be whatever I want them to be. I don’t care if anyone loves them or everyone hates them. They are for me and me alone.
I listened to my music. If I wanted to skip a song, I did. I even listened to a few twice because I could. I didn’t have to worry about naughty words or bad messages because the music was purely for my enjoyment. I even shut it off a few times so I could enjoy the chirping of the grasshoppers and the rustling of the grass.
Toward the end of my walk, I found a patch of grass (or weeds) that people probably ignore and I sat. I looked, I noticed, I felt, I photographed, and most of all, I breathed. In that moment, the world was perfect and wonderful. Everything was in sync and I was happy to be there. I didn’t long for the ocean, or someone to sit with. I didn’t think about my silent phone, or the to-do lists that I was ignoring. It was a moment for me to enjoy this place at this time.
I now have scratches on my face, arms and legs, a spot on my shirt (at least it’s black), and possibly a rash. I had to wipe ants off my feet, pull some weeds out of my hair. It was all worth it, because I had a moment to breathe.
When I got home, I laid on my bed and read. I didn’t care that it was morning, or that I should be getting something done. I didn’t care what anyone thought, because I needed this time, who knows if I will get it tomorrow?
This was a gift to myself. I am glad I received it. Since my beautiful hour, I have received a phone call from the principal and it wasn’t to tell me about the good things my son has done. I have received some assignments from my grad school teachers, and I am a tad regretful and scared about my decision. Tonight the kids and I are doing a community service project around others, and all I want to do is hide in my bed.
However, I took an hour to breathe, to listen, to walk, to feel, to connect. If I can take the time to pause in the middle of a busy day, I can do anything.
How do you breathe? What inspires you and makes you feel in sync again?