I have said this before and I will say it again, my son is honest, candid, and doesn’t intentionally mean to be hurtful. Keeping this in mind, it is still extremely hard when he asks such personal questions.
Two years ago, after my husband lost 50 pounds on his mail route, my son started asking me, “Why are you fat and the rest of us are thin?” I would look at my small plate, with the smallest portions in the family, and say, “I don’t know.”
Last year, when I found two exercise classes that I loved, and committed to, he asked, “If you exercise, and eat healthy, then why are you still fat?”
Once again, my response would be, “I don’t know.”
“Why should I exercise if I can still be fat?” He inquired.
“Because even if I don’t look the way I want, I want my body to be healthy. When I get tests done at the doctor, my blood says that I live a healthy lifestyle. I don’t know why I still look like this.” I said on my lips, but inside I cried.
Anyway, through my weight loss journey, my kids have watched me. They have seen me come home from the gym sweaty. They see what I eat, and they notice that they eat more than me. They noticed right away when I quit eating gluten (wheat products), and they ask lots of questions along the way. We are glad they ask questions, because we share genetics. Who is to say they won’t have their own fitness journey someday.
This week, I learned the importance of working out in front of my kids. I love my spinning and Body Pump classes, but I needed more exercises in my week that worked with my new work schedule. Scott and I bought Insanity, so we could get toned together. We have completed one month of this program, sweating, crying (at times), and getting through each intense workout.
The other morning, Scott wasn’t feeling well, and 5 minutes into one of the most intensive workouts I have ever done, he left me to do the hour-long workout ALONE. I was sad and frustrated. I tried to make my body do things that it has never done.
About 55 minutes into the workout, I was spent. Done. Tired. READY to be done. It was too much. Sweat was pouring off of my forehead. I ran out of water ages ago. Every single muscle in my body ached.
My over critical son, who is famous for pointing out the obvious walked into the room to watch me complete my workout. I kept waiting for him to say something like, “You don’t do it as good as they do.”
INSTEAD he yelled, “YOU CAN DO IT, MOMMY!”
That’s all it took. My muscles started working again, and I completed the last exercise before the cool down. I finished the tape and have completed two more videos since that morning (with Scott).
My body might not be perfect. I have MANY workouts before I am the size or the shape I want to be, but at least my kids KNOW how hard I am trying. That is the lifelong lesson I want them to remember.